@DaaNoggs: Jehovah's witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
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@TheToddWilliams: [boss's office] I'm tired of staff that think they know everything! Do you know what I mean, Murray? "No, sir" I like your style, Murray.
@AmericanGent69: Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.
@pattymo: After every one of Benedict Cumberbatch's lines in DR. STRANGE, turn to your neighbor & say "I guess that's why they call him Dr. Strange"
@Kyle_Raney: Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now