@thedirtbird: Jelly. Baby needs jelly.
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@sweetandweak: Him: my name is Robert but my friends call me Bob, you can call me whatever you like. Me: Cool, nice to meet you Nachos.
@MarlonBrandNO: [Twister] DOG 1: left paw green DOG 2: i told u this was a terrible idea DOG 1: cmon Jim just pick the green one DOG 2: THEYRE ALL GREY GARY
@doktorj: A horror movie, but the monster chasing me is my coworker that wants to tell me about her date last night. *twists ankle by the copier
@StansaidAirport: I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in.