@annievictorias: Jennifer Aniston is one divorce away from being Ross
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dumbbeezie: I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it
@LaziestCanine: [teenage girl reading horoscope tweets] "Gemini's go to sleep when they are tired" HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ME
@HomeProbably: The best thing I ever did was install a fake doorbell. Now no one ever knocks on my door.
@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Judge: Your word is McConaughey McConaughey. M-C-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y, McConaughey. Did I get it? Judge: We have no idea