@hurlarious: Jerk chicken is just regular chicken that made fun of me in high school
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@fanofhell: Doctor: what seems to be the problem? Me: I need to be docted Doctor: you came to the right place. I'm a doctor. I doct people
@Dawn_M_: I only use shampoo that smells like raspberries so people don't think it's weird when I have jam in my hair.
@StellaRtwot: Why do other moms at the playground get all snotty if you ask their husband to push you when you're on a swing?