@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it's the most important meal.
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@Gooooats: I think this coworker I’ve been working with for 13 years is starting to suspect I don’t know his name.
@Tups13: Once a baby dragon flew out in front of my car and I screamed. Turned out it was just a pheasant. I have lots of good stories like this.
@jadeamberf: at cane's cashier: you guys ready? my friend: nah we still looking cashier: aight well we sell chicken and fries so