@JasonCarney31: Jesus draws a bath after an exhausting day, gets in "Damn it, c'mon, not again!" he says as he sits on top of the water, unable to submerge
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@NikiWithIssues: I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
@dshack8: Pre-Having Daughters: *Hates hearing "NO" from women Post-Having Daughters: *Teaches them "NO" in 167 different languages including Klingon