@adamthislife: Jesus only had 12 followers, also one sold him out to die and another unfollowed Him right before He died. So I guess I'm not doing too bad.
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@dougbies: My phone died, so I was forced to "print" a physical copy of my boarding pass, just like The Wright Brothers used to in the olden days
@ElleOhHell: 911? I'm a man trapped in a woman's body! "That's not exactly an emergency." Oh. Huh. Ok. *Tries door in Statue of Liberty again*
@Headkutter: How to scare burglars off.... First put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second put a cat litter box in your hall and shit in it.