@adamthislife: Jesus only had 12 followers, also one sold him out to die and another unfollowed Him right before He died. So I guess I'm not doing too bad.
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@lwhit_the_boss: If Jay-Z is married to Beyonce and is a multimillionaire and still has 99 problems then there ain't no hope for the rest of us
@Kyle_Lippert: Robin Thicke is what would happen if a roofie became a human and decided to make music.
@Sirrruh: Bear: *lowers sunglasses. Is it *beary* serious? Cops:...Ok that's funny but but you mauled a child so yes. You have to go back to the zoo.
@BitchyJasmine: 'If u insinuate that I'm fat again, I'm leaving you!' 'Don't be selfish, think about the baby.' 'What baby?' 'Oh, so you're not pregnant?'