@newcastlecourt: Jimmy Bathwater, 27 of Howdon, pleaded guilty to roundhousing a seagull out the sky. He was fined £300 despite how impressive that sounds
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@jus4golf: I am angry but not like really angry. More like Facebook angry where I call you letters of the alphabet. You F'ing B.
@Carrie_Rachel: In this era of excessive exclamation point use, punctuating a text with a period is the quickest and simplest way to cause concern.
@sammyrhodes: Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor.