@Ian_H5: JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding
@donni: ME: Can I have the job please
INTERVIEWER: I meant, like, questions ABOUT the job
ME: Ah, yes. About the job: Can I have it
@bromanconsul: GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough.
[I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]
Where were you last night?
"Out killing people"
Louder for the tape
"The Cheesecake Factory, that's where I was"
@notacroc: Me: *holds up my phone showing my tweet has a total of 6 favorites*
Bouncer: you still can't go in
MORT: I think I'm a vampire
MARV: We all love blood, Mort
MORT: But I can't see myself in this mirror
MARV: That's a leaf