@Ian_H5: JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding
@realHamOnWry: Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious.
@BuckyIsotope: The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head.
@meowsepink: Dollar Tree pregnancy tests.
For when you only want to be 35% sure.
@garrettbarry70: Wish I had the confidence of a small child having a meltdown at the shopping mall.
@jonnysun: *dinosaur at zoo roars at me*
whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this
oh its a thesaurus