@Ian_H5: JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding
@Michael_Erhart: *Hears a joke about a chocolate bar*
@sickipediabot: "70% of the people don't know how to use the superlative degree in English"
That's the most stupidest thing that I've ever heard.
@chrisscamurra: CASHIER: its declined
ME: run it again
C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out
C: your name is "local resident"?
@VanGobot: Judge: Guilty!
NINE MONTHS LATER
*gavel holding freaky gavel-human hybrid baby*
Judge: *tears welling up* ..he has your eyes
@HatfieldAnne: Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod.