@BlairLoudly: Jogging but instead lying in bed with your eyes shut.
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@partlyfunny: I got chased by two Canadian geese today. I know they were Canadian because when they realized I was genuinely scared, they apologized.
@DadandBuried: I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say "uh-oh!" from another room.
@MouthOfSass: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, auto flush toilet, I kinda wanted to see that.