@BlairLoudly: Jogging but instead lying in bed with your eyes shut.
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@GrantTanaka: [wife comes out wearing pretty dress] me: that's my favorite dress wife: aww, how swee- m: take it off w: but we need to- m: I wanna wear it
@daemonic3: I have a dream, that all men are created equal. Just a bunch of regular men. Like, no "super" men for instance - Martin Lex Luthor King
@TheRolo: Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to "Vintage Hams"] Hipster: I'll take 4