@BlairLoudly: Jogging but instead lying in bed with your eyes shut.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@maebemarbles: Not one person is cooler than the pigeon that just walked all the way into this Mexican restaurant, gently picked up a taco chip, and left.
@ArfMeasures: [court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record
@UkeOfEarl1: [Working in a hospital] ME: Well, this guy's autopsy is done NURSE: You mean tonsillectomy ME: Uh oh