@NickBossRoss: Johnny Depp always looks like he is just as confused by his "accent"
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@bourgeoisalien: When man made the first stone tool 2.6 million years ago, I don’t think they could have ever imagined a tool as great as Donald Trump.
@AthenaMystique: *texts god* Me: yo, can we add "being a grammar nazi" to the list of sins? Their annoying. God: *they're
@marebytes: Facebook tells me today is "National Winnie the Pooh Day" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office