@Adar79Angie: Joined a gym once. 12 bystanders were injured. So much blood. 2 people renounced their faith. At night I still hear the treadmill screaming.
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@jazmasta: *hairstylist holds mirror behind my head after styling my hair* "Is that ok for you sir?" "Yes that is a beautiful mirror. I'll take it"
@Snarfernini: There's a spider in my bathroom. I neither can kill it or capture it, so now it has its very own room in my house to raise its spider family
@lazerdoov: Don't ask a pregnant lady "do you know the sex?" obviously she knows about sex she's pregnant you stupid idiot