@MindyFurano: Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
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@buseysteeth: You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning.
@ag_loco: Dear men, We love you until you forget to call or show up late or breathe the wrong way - women P.s you're reading this tweet wrong
@trevso_electric: Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for "superficial"? "Shallow"? "Slave"? Or "soon to be obsolete"?
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: It's not fair. Boys can have beards but girls can’t. Me: Well, girls can have babies and boys can’t. 4: Want to trade?