@secondofhername: Jurassic World: A generically modified smart 50 ft monster has turned violent and this, for some reason, took people by surprise.
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@dlsims01: My co worker is so mad at me right now her eyes are bulging out like a pug. I don't know wether to call 911 or scratch her behind the ears.
@candace_9871: Boss approaches, I frantically close my google image search of cats hugging, only to show a new window of cats in formal wear. I get fired.
@JerryThomas: I just bought an answering machine and it doesn't work. Or maybe I'm just asking it the wrong questions.
@HysteriaBarbie: My coworker had a baby. I had a BLT. I think we all know who the real winner is