@zipoffs: just a good, friendly, light-hearted conversation that for some reason charmin initiated with me
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@TVsCarlKinsella: ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately! KIDS: ... STAFF: ... ALBUS: I can't control them.
@TomTheWicked: Boss: What's for lunch? Me: Food. B: What kind of food? M: The kind you eat. B: ... M: ... B: ... Me: You hired me. This is your fault.
@capnmcfword: People with nuclear weapons are now effectively calling each other poopy pants. I'm gonna stop coming to work now.
@Getnosexual: My parenting life wavers between "Be original and true to yourself" and "Please don't make the school psychologist call me again this week".