@longwall26: Just a reminder that your coworkers aren't going to get eaten by bears on their own. You have to make that happen. You have to want it.
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@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: Do you think men and women are just hardwired differently? ME [drinking a bottle of shampoo]: *bubble noises*
@Northside_Mike: Saw a big girl wearing really short, shredded denim shorts. I'm going to assume those were jeans before she hulked out.
@lm_GrumpyCat: I'm not saying I hate you, I'm just saying that if you got hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus.