@Cheeseboy22: Just ate an order of cheese fries and smoke started coming out of my Fitbit.
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@TheMichaelRock: Never laugh at a toddlers joke unless you want to hear it repeated 425 more times.
@SteveSuckington: "U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary." -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* "Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"
@dshack8: Me: Can u send me those documents? Coworker: Yes, but u can actually get them by-- Me: Nope, don't try teaching me to fish. Not interested.