@funnybeachgirl: Just blew pot smoke on the huge spider hiding in my shower. I figure if I do this a few more times, he'll be too stoned to attack me.
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@causticbob: I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It's true. After going to the gym earlier I've decided I'm never going again.
@NathanBgood: He died doing what he loved, waving a metal rod on a rooftop in a storm, yelling FU, GOD! Although he slipped & fell, Ted's memory lives on.
@DrDogMD: DR DOG: *gives kid patient a sucker* MOM: what do u say KID: thanks mr dog DD: kid I didnt go to med school for 56 years to be called Mr Dog
@WheelTod: On your first day at the beach, go up to the toughest-looking guy there, and let the air out of his water-wings.