@jakob_huber: Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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@FannyB1tch: Was glancing through the Obituaries this morning and found it really creepy that all these people managed to die in alphabetical order.
@BlondAmbitionTO: A guy said he fantasizes about me in a bathtub filled with Big Mac sauce and I said YOU'RE DISGUSTING AND DISTURBED and see you at 8, Brian.
@SortaBad: Sorry I can't come to your thing tonight, I'm too busy figuring out an excuse about why I can't come to your thing next week
@GrowlyGrego: *knocks on door* You're too fat. "Wha--" You're way too dumb. "Wait--who.." Hi, I'm Roy. I sell insecurity systems. You're too poor for one.