@jakob_huber: Just bought a thesaurus at the store and brought it home to find out the pages are all blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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@myles_morrison: I changed my wifi name to "14.4k dial up connection" so no one would bother stealing my signal.
@RickyCoronaa: Earlier today I went to a girl's highschool soccer game and there was a rough play where two players went to the ground. I guess one of them pulled the other's hair so she gets up and says "I liked it better when your bf pulled my hair" not even the ref knew what to do. I fainted
@rolldiggity: I bet chickens have mixed emotions about Thanksgiving, because they're safe for a day, but why aren't they good enough for a holiday meal?
@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to helicopter class. any questions..' *student raises hand* *arm gets obliterated by chopper blades* 'can wait until we go inside'