@Midgetspar: Just bought Colgate mouthwash 'cause it builds stronger gums and someday my gums might have to lift a car off a baby.
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@imskytrash: cop: could you please describe the man who tried to kill you me: yeah he was not nice
@GaryJanetti: I don't know why Russia is so homophobic. Most of the women there look like men anyway.
@trevso_electric: Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds.
@T_Bonezzz_: "One day, I will create a global business-oriented social networking service" - Abraham LinkedIn