@Midgetspar: Just bought Colgate mouthwash 'cause it builds stronger gums and someday my gums might have to lift a car off a baby.
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@MrSpoonicorn: *i got to get into bed but theres a walrus in there* *i ask him politely to move* *he wont move* *i have to sleep on the floor & im annoyed*
@LosLos__: HR: You said: You're "moist" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect.