@samalmightysam: Just broke my very own personal record of most consecutive days without dying.
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@robotrowboat: Please put away that scary photo, Tina. That's my X-ray. I'm not sure what’s worse: the fact you dated a skeleton or that its name was Ray.
@SoVeryBritish: Still suddenly panicking that you haven't done your homework on Sunday evenings, despite being in your thirties
@Marlebean: Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!
@SlabBaconBP: Take a stand against childhood obesity by chasing little fat kids down the street.