@Rikidus: Just Checked my voicemail. I forgot to buy milk 3 years ago.
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@Talkinghands69: Come close... Closer... Look deeply into my eyes and tell me what you see... Is it an eyelash? Seriously, help me out, it's killing me.
@thestlouisan: My grandpa slept in snow in the Battle of the Bulge & I'm considering throwing out this cup of water bc it has some tiny floaty things in it
@Sickayduh: DAD: I want a steak. HER: Eat this chicken instead. It's healthy. DAD: No it isn't. It's dead.