@One_FineMess: Just did a spot on imitation of a new born calf while trying to gracefully exit a hammock.
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@IRLPepperMD: "You think I'm immature? Well, you know what! Our relationship is-" *holds up imaginary walky-talky* "Chhh-over."
@joeyfullystated: Stranger man at the beach asked me, "Y'all got a boat?" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment.
@BlindChow: [mailman delivering package to hospital] DOCTOR: ah, just what the doctor ordered MAILMAN: please stop saying that
@WritePlay: When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed.