@FriedWords: Just drank two 5-Hour Energy shots. Will I get 10 hours of energy? And why is that rainbow giggling at me? AndAHH MY SKIN IS ON INSIDE-OUT!
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@Vice_Queen: [Me flirting with a twenty something] Him: When last did you get lit? Me: This morning. It was really sunny so I was well illuminated.
@byrdie_num_num: Haven't worn a watch in 20+ years. Coincidentally, I haven't poured my drink on the floor when asked for the time in 20+ years.
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Sometimes I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones. Scarlett Johansson: That's very interesting.