@clindsaysway: Just finished reading the Declaration of Independence to my kids, and they went to live with their dad
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@ComedicBust: ME: What'd you want for dinner? MY GOTHIC GF: I pray that the lord of darkness will claim my body & soul before sunset. ME: Chinese it is.
@iwearaonesie: [dinner] son *sigh* What a day wife *kicks me under the table to get me to respond* me *slides my beer over to him* wife *kicks me harder*
@alldrolledup: A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD