@natedeschaine: Just finished writing my will. In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, I'm about to try resolving some issues regarding my iTunes library.
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@Death_Buddy: ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE? "Haha a man obviously" *Detective places cheese on table* *suspect starts to sweat*
@salamingia: "Google, how long will my trip to Cleveland take? "Your trip will take 5 hours" "Google, I have a child. "Your trip will take 9 hours".
@HatfieldAnne: “Keep pumping until something happens.” -Home Depot guy teaching me to prime the snow blower says the first thing I've understood.
@jeffporper: Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch.