@natedeschaine: Just finished writing my will. In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, I'm about to try resolving some issues regarding my iTunes library.
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@natalayhehoo: If I ever want to hide something from my husband I'd put it in the dishwasher- he'd never look in there
@UnFitz: "If we don't know a word for something, why can't we just make one up?" he remarked confusatorily.
@jakob_huber: Villain: We meet again, Mr. Bond Bond: You don't remember my 1st name do you Villain: Sure I do. It's uh.. Bond: C'mon this is our 3rd fight
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in.