@natedeschaine: Just finished writing my will. In TOTALLY UNRELATED news, I'm about to try resolving some issues regarding my iTunes library.
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@DanMentos: My Shakespeare brings all the boys to the yard And they're like We're gonna kick your ass fancy boy
@fro_vo: Me: *stumbles in front of boss at work* Boss: haha have a nice trip, see you in the fall Me: *takes 8 month vacation*
@enigmaterics: I've started my new diet by putting a salad in front of the beer. Thus I have to move it to get a beer. Because exercise is important too.
@Sickayduh: "911, what's your emerg-" "The women at work have synced their uteri and it's Hell" "Sir uteri is not plural for ute-" "TAMPI EVERYWHERE"