@TeeJayRush: Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I'll immediately be alerted...
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@mstluvstrinkets: I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse.
@ValeeGrrl: [at son's Little League game] ME: which one's yours OTHER MOM: the pitcher. You? ME: the one performing Lord of the Dance in left field
@Carbosly: Want to get rid of your husband without killing him? Just send him to the grocery store & ask for pine nuts. Mine has been gone 6 years.
@chuuew: Isn't it annoying when someone sits next to you in an empty cinema? I didn't think so but that's what my new best friend is telling security