@TeeJayRush: Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I'll immediately be alerted...
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@kamweru_: Saw a guy steal a car using a hanger so I did what any normal person would do, walked up to him & asked "You that guy from Grand Theft Auto?
@Parentpains: Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
@BigHeb7: Whenever I'm about to get in a bar fight, I give a karate bow to my opponent in hopes he gets scared and backs out before I piss myself.