@miller_tm: Just got an email from dominoes said "easy and delicious" they sure know how to talk to a single guy!
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@Dutch_50: I know it's illegal to launder money, so I've decided to stop doing laundry entirely. Just to be on the safe side.
@HomeProbably: Instead of just answering the phone when it rings, I prefer to wonder why the hell someone's calling me and glare at it until it goes away.
@JohnPoveromo: The iWatch is awesome because it's the fastest way to let everyone know you used to have 500 dollars.