@TheCatWhisprer: Just got my Facebook account suspended for reading a full article before I shared it.
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@MissItAintMe: Today is awesome. I got pulled over by a cop on a bike. He even asked if I knew why he was "pulling me over" You need a ride! Duh
@karri_leigh: My daughter is playing "you can't find me, Mommy"... I'm playing "I'm not trying, Suckaaaa".
@RowdyBowden: Raggedy Andy knew he was becoming a man when he noticed yarn where there wasn't yarn before.
@robfee: Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet.