@shahnischmani: Just heard a lady say she's been shopping at this Kmart for the last 15 years, and I was like, "doesn't your family miss you?"
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@TheTweetOfGod: He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know. Shut up, is basically what I'm saying.
@MidlifeDish: "This is the last time I'm going to tell you!" *Biggest lie parents tell kids "And I mean it." *Biggest lie parents tell themselves
@CrazyExhaustion: Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, "Is this Disney World?!" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently.