@MrGeorgeWallace: Just hired a dirtying lady. About to watch her and my cleaning lady fight it out.
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@thentherewasmo: Renee Zellweger is living proof that if you keep making that face it's going to be stuck that way forever
@TheTweetOfGod: I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence.
@inoj41: Kissing 101: 1. Open your mouth 2. Wider, that's it. 3. Stick out your tongue 4. Then walk towards her and pray she doesn't run away.
@fouadelbatrawi: Thank God for butter because without butter all butterflies would be just flies and that sounds terrible.