@MrGeorgeWallace: Just hired a dirtying lady. About to watch her and my cleaning lady fight it out.
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@TeeJayRush: Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I'll immediately be alerted...
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I kinda want one of those priest collar thingys. If it gets me through airport security fast AND keeps kids away from me. I'm in.
@briangaar: Divorce is when you tell someone: Hey I know you better than anyone else on Earth and I'm gonna take a pass