@glamrockgoth: Just how hairy was the person who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
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@SortaBad: Just finished my book about how to get laid at bars. It's called The Girl With the Lower-Back Tattoo.
@Birdhumms: Forgive me father for I have sinned, it's been 25 yrs since my last confession, I sure hope you're seated comfortably.
@GuyConfused: The best revenge is to kidnap your enemy, tie him up, then pop bubble wrap in front of him and make him watch.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [gathers around casket and see's it's full of gatorade] uh oh, then that means [grandma's body is being dumped over the winning coach]