@glamrockgoth: Just how hairy was the person who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
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@gojarbe: "and this lake shall be called Superior" all the other Great Lakes: "k wow we're like right here"
@GreenishDuck: You're on your deathbed. You gather the strength to utter your last words "Boxers with pockets," you say. "You'll never have to wear pants."
@Fred_Delicious: "HONEY, ITS THE BANK. SOMEBODY USED YOUR CARD TO BUY A HUMAN HAMSTER WHEEL??" Me [from basement, out of breath] "what"