@RobertJrDowney: Just imagine if Usain Bolt was your father and you were trying to run away from a beating.
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@QwertyJones3: [Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] "You doing legs today?" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt.
@novicefather: You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.
@Fickle_Filly: The puffer fish spends days creating a beautiful boudoir in which to lure a mate and I just want a man who can load the dishwasher properly.