@ItsAndyRyan: Just misread a headline 'Trump wins big' as 'Trump bins wig'. I thought: 'about time too'.
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@patnspankme: This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer
@uccjeb: When I see 18 wheelers carrying something covered with a tarp, I just assume that it's an injured Transformer.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: You know how dogs think, when you leave, that you're never coming back? That's how I feel when I leave the house for work every morning.
@Wine_Honey1: Be careful how much wine you drink, might end up vacuuming the driveway in your panties