@_Tempo11: Just moisturized my hands and now I can't get out of the bathroom. Send help.
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1950. The FBI put out its first 10 Most Wanted list and my dad lost a bet because only 2 of the guys were his brothers.
@The_MartiniGirl: I love when people tell me to get my act together and I'm like who the hell is acting geez.
@Just_Lee_: When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.