@_Tempo11: Just moisturized my hands and now I can't get out of the bathroom. Send help.
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@thelaurenobrien: Sometimes when I'm in the shower I'll hear a strange noise and start singing EXTRA good in case the intruder has some connections.
@Lunatic_times: I cut my finger on a beer can, I now know how Julius Caesar felt when he was betrayed by his best friend.
@XplodingUnicorn: My daughters took turns tracing each other over and over with chalk. Now it looks like 25 children were murdered in my driveway.