@_Tempo11: Just moisturized my hands and now I can't get out of the bathroom. Send help.
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@ErrenMichaels: The freebie-jeebies That feeling you get when someone creepy buys you a drink without asking.
@ArfMeasures: ME [Puts up "Have u seen my dog?" posters across town] HER: Oh no! You've lost your dog! M: No I just think u should see him. He's awesome
@squirrel74wkgn: [tearing off our clothes] Her: I want you. Take off your shoes. *kicks flip-flop through her TV*
@myles_morrison: It's easier to get away with stealing someone's stroller if you're dressed as a jogger.