@squirrel74wkgn: Just once...one time; can't we buy a tree that doesn't try to attack me when I come home drunk at 2am.
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@rockymomax: SNAKE: im gonna bite you SNAKE CHARMER: u are so sexy S: wha- SC: *presses finger to lips* still wana bite me? S: *blushes* well not anymore
@realHamOnWry: Probably the worst thing about getting taken down by a pack of Hyenas would be hearing them giggle while they eat you.
@abbycohenwl: Bring an urn speed dating. Whenever a prospective match asks a question, whisper to urn, "I don't know, Mom: should I tell him?"