@jeffporper: Just ordered a pizza and jogged past my gym holding it over my head like the Olympic torch.
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@EJGomez: [slams on the brakes] WHAT DO YOU MEAN LINDSAY LOHAN PLAYED BOTH TWINS IN THE PARENT TRAP
@NightValeRadio: Listen to your inner child. It's the one that whisper-sings nursery rhymes when you feel alone in a dark hallway.
@RidiculousSheri: I'm at my most Disney Princess when I fight with my stepfamily before drunkenly losing my shoe at a party.