@wchoughton: Just overheard the phrase, "pregnant with a baby," and secretly wondered what the other options were.
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@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0
@rockymomax: [wakes up next to perfectly crocheted sweater with knitting needles in hands] Oh dear god not again
@Shelts99: My wife wants me to make her scream in the bedroom. The 32 lego pieces & 6 upturned plugs, I've strategically placed, should do the trick.
@Cheeseboy22: My wife is always like, "You answer the door, I don't even have my bra on!" and for that reason, I have stopped wearing a bra.