@LuvPug: Just pulled into the 'Expecting Mothers' parking spot at Walmart because I'm fully expecting to lose my shit on one of my kids in there.
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@Humor_Fetish: Friend: "Did you bring condoms?" Me: "No need. If I'm drunk enough to talk to a girl, I'm way too drunk to get it up."
@Try2StopME: Always trust the judgements of a man who honestly answers to the question 'What's up?'
@samalmightysam: What I learned from Titanic was that u need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person u like cause u never know what might happen.