@Cheeseboy22: Just purchased one of those wigs that lawyers in England wear to put on when I have an argument with my wife.
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@simoncholland: My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss.
@jordan_stratton: *drinking water* Ahh, yes. Surely this single glass will reverse what I did to my body this weekend.
@Home_Halfway: Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say "Over there."