@_thatigirl: Just realized I've never "axed" anyone a question in my whole life.
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@MyPolishFace: Me: guess what I shaved! Him: your armpits? Me: no Him: your mustache? Me: no Him: your nec- Me: I don't wanna play this game anymore
@sammontgomery: Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.
@praisecheese: This fall on Fox: X-Files Babies. Baby Skully and Baby Mulder meet at a petting zoo when they both get knocked over by the same goat.
@jakob_huber: "What's your greatest strength?" Shadow puppetry "Seriously?" [interviewer presses intercom button] "Pat, please bring a flashlight in here"