@_thatigirl: Just realized I've never "axed" anyone a question in my whole life.
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@AndrewChamings: [proctologist’s office] ME: *unzipping pants nervously* PROCTOLOGIST: You're nervous, that's normal, but please zip my pants back up.
@dubstep4dads: I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
@Try2StopME: Student: "May I go to the toilet?" Teacher: "What for?" Student: "To open the Chamber of Secrets"
@Lpbinder: People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.