@abhorrent_wife: Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house but that fly is dead.
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@SaeedFaridzadeh: No, I don't have time to read the article. Just show me an image, and misguided headline, with the promise of making me angry.
@AnOrangeSNES: Dear Abby, I never thought this would happen to me. Today I met a sexy woman who told me I write letters to the wrong publication.
@TheLOLYBible: "But Lot's wife looked back as she was following behind him, and she turned into a pillar of salt, and Lot was like 'wtf' " Genesis 19:26
@LeonEarlgrey: The guy who created Virgin airlines probably didnt go to high school otherwise he would have called it "shes probably lying airlines".