@abhorrent_wife: Just ruined $387 worth of blinds in the house but that fly is dead.
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@R_A_Dadass: Sometimes late at night, if you listen real carefully, you can hear parents removing batteries from annoying toys.
@awordforaword: If the radius of a pizza is Z and the thickness is A, then the volume of pizza is PI x Z x Z x A. #asianshowingoff
@QwertyJones3: [Guy sees octopus doing squats at the gym on 4 legs] "You doing legs today?" Octopus: Yeah my fourarms hurt.