@uccjeb: Just saw 666 on a license plate and, in case you guys were wondering, Satan drives a Jeep.
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@joejwest: ME: You've put on weight DRACULA: No I haven't. Prove it ME: When you fly, how many bats do you turn into? DRACULA: [deep sigh] A shitload
@daemonic3: I don't understand the trend of Chinese restaurants with "NO MSG!" signs. Why would I eat somewhere that I can't send texts?
@MarfSalvador: teacher: we found drugs in your son's school bag me: oh wow ok teacher: it's worrying me: very *rubbing chin* he should've sold them all by now