@tigersgoroooar: Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself.
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@LaziestCanine: Doctor: this might hurt a little bit Me: okay Doctor: i like you, but only as a friend
@SamGrittner: I've honestly never been more disappointed in life than when I found out that the Miami Dolphin football team was made up entirely of people