@CrackYouWhip: Just saw a fat woman lick icing off of her sleeve so that is the last time I eat in front of a mirror.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BrucioMcCulloch: I DO love to rush breathlessly into Starbucks and scream "Is anyone in here writing a screen play? We need one! This is an emergency!"
@truegritrumble: HER: You look so nervous. ME: *nervously* HA. I'm never nervous. HER: You're sweating. ME: *just freaking out* That's bravery moisture.
@PorkUrPine: God: Hmm now where did I leave that fish? It couldn't possibly have grown legs and walked away Darwin: lol ur not gonna believe this