@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Oh, you're an early riser?
@EJGomez: any man with a ponytail is never more than 15ft away from a katana at any given time
@EJGomez: guy: my dog just died
girl who studied abroad: wow that reminds of this one time in Europe i saw a dog
@Robert_Beau: The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.
@ArfMeasures: GF: What's my biggest flaw?
ME: You haven't got any, you're perfect, I love you
GF: No come on, I mean pacifically
ME: We should split up