@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?
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@WheelTod: My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit.
@Robinbuble: If you post a handstand photo of yourself at the beach in Uggs you're automatically entered into an essay contest on why you love your Jetta
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: I was named after my grandfather. Me: Of course you were, he was born first.
@AristotlesNZ: Hey! I took my diaper off, see? Oh! Look! I found your power drill! Gonna go see if it fits an outlet.. Bye! -My 2yo when I'm on the toilet