@zachreinert03: Just saw a woman getting 'running lessons' with rubber bands & a head gear. Pffft, I could've taught her for free and with only a chainsaw
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@behindyourback: Why do birds suddenly appear/every time you are near/just like me they long to be/eating your sandwich
@politicalmath: I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet & sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters.
@SteveAmiri: July 5th, 1776: The day the British drunk-texted America and said they still loved them.