@sageboggs: Just saw an advance screening of Age of Ultron. Spoiler alert: he's 47
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@SafyHallanFarah: if i was a character in a horror movie i would try to finish whatever i'm eating before i die
@BlindChow: Though he came from a long line of spoons, Sammy Spork always noticed a slight resemblance to Mom's friend Frank, the fork living next door.
@david8hughes: [pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha
@LackOfShame: Me: Do you like the new ceiling fan? Her: Yeah, but the fan light is really dull. Fan light: Ok wow like I'm right here