@sageboggs: Just saw an advance screening of Age of Ultron. Spoiler alert: he's 47
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@ArfMeasures: [phone] WIFE: Where the hell are u? ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted? W: OMG M: I'm in a bar not far from there
@Nikkeya08: Yoga Instructor: This is Warrior pose Me:*Sitting down, eating a cheeseburger YI: Me:*chewing I'm a Warrior who just slayed a McDonaldite
@weinerdog4life: Maybe the Titanic sank because there were too many cats onboard, you don't know.