@JWilsonGA: Just saw my wife's tampon string hanging out while she slept. Not sure, but I bet if I lit her fuse she'd explode bigger than any firework.
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@KevinBuffalo: Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you.
@devc0ol: Green tea reduces weight* *Only if you go and pick the leaves from the mountains yourself.
@TheMichaelRock: Some guy told me I wasn't funny today, so I punched him in his face because nobody likes liars.
@robfee: This is what we really need to remember from the gold and white or blue and black dress debate.