@Dschnoeb: Just saw The Imitation Game & it was FILLED with historical inaccuracies about World War II. They don't even mention Captain America at all.
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@AndrewNadeau0: MY WIFE:We named you after our favorite songs. You were mine LAYLA: I love that ME: And you mine THEME FROM DUCKTALES: No, yeah, I figured
@KittensMittens: Mom: I think I'm gonna make a twitter Me: Mom it costs like $500 a year... Mom: That's expensive I'll stick with Facebook Me: Aww too bad
@gigglegirlnoel: If I eat healthy today then I can have one piece of candy as a reward. If I eat unhealthy, then I can have the whole bag.